We walk around with so much pressure on ourselves. Pressure to look right, perform better, be perfect all while trying to raise our kids to be great adults. If we don’t, then we are a failure. We don’t typically give ourselves room for anything less than perfection. And we know practically speaking that it doesn’t HAVE to be perfect. But really in the back of our brains, perfection is the goal.
When it comes to our health it’s no different. IF today we can eat the right number of calories, drink enough water, take all the right supplements, drink the right teas and eat the right berries, grocery shop and plan out the meals for next week. Not to mention the physical fitness aspect! We must get the perfect workout attire, and then FINALLY get to the gym. And workout hard enough for our Fitbit to register 500 calories spent. THEN AND ONLY THEN will today be a good day. Anything less is utter failure. UTTER AND TOTAL AND COMPLETE I-SUCK-AT-LIFE FAILURE.
This approach might work for a minute. Because we can stick to a complex plan for a total of 36 hours, right? And if we manage to stick to it longer, we fizzle after two weeks. It’s too much. It’s too punishment/reward, good/bad, I’m awesome/I suck oriented.
The problem is we come from a place of hate for our body. We don’t like what we look like and we don’t think anyone else does either. It’s a counterproductive place to come from. This “come from” is huge!
Let me offer you a radically different approach to weight loss. I have 3 steps here. If you feel like you’ve tried EVERYTHING and you are exhausted from even the thought of attempting again, stick with me here. You won’t regret it.
Step 1) Acceptance. Not just of your choices but of yourself. Accept all your bad habits along with your good ones. Be honest about the things you do that serve you (and your goals) and the things that do not. This is where “I did everything right” meets that ice cream binge last night. This is where you say, “Okay… maybe I have some room for improvement.” These are matter of facts, not an excuse for guilt and shame.
Step 2) Give yourself some grace. You offer everyone in the world more grace than they deserve except for yourself. Stop beating yourself up for all the things you didn’t complete or did “badly” or “wrong”. You are being too hard on yourself. We all have bad days and that’s ok. Give yourself some grace. You didn’t get that workout in again. It’s ok. You broke down and had a piece of cake. Ahem… and another piece of cake. That’s ok. Give yourself some room to make mistakes. When you learn to forgive yourself your outcome is immediately better. We keep fighting ourselves here. And when we approach things like we are ready for a fight, guess what? We get one! No good will come from this internal battle. You’ll always either be winning or losing. And that’ll change all the time. This is so volatile. Would you suggest anyone stay in this type of relationship? No! Why then would you continue to support this type of relationship with your health? This takes practice and a HUGE mind shift. The practice is well worth the results here, trust me. Just try it.
Step 3) Gratitude. No matter where you are in your journey, whether you’ve recently gained a ton of weight; whether you only want to lose that last 5 or 10 pounds; maybe you’ve lost a lot but still have a lot to go; or you’ve hit your goal… your journey won’t be anything but a battle unless you can have gratitude for what your body is capable of right now.
Stop focusing on all the should haves and the “bad” moments. Forgive yourself for not making choices that line up with your goals, and give thanks for everything you have, everything you can do, and just being in a body that can move and breathe.
Plot twist, these are not the steps to weight loss…sorry for the clickbait. These are the steps to self-love. If you’ve tried everything else, what can you lose from trying just one more thing. Love is a much better place to come from on your journey than hating your body and your choices. Take the fight out of the game. I challenge you to replace it with self-love. Working towards this is the real transformation.
Let self-love be the goal. Let weight loss and good health be the side effect.
I’m Michelle Dabney and I am a health coach. I suffer from binge eating; and I’ve been on a yo-yo dieting rollercoaster my entire adult life. I finally got it right. I’ve lost over 65 pounds, and I’ve kept it off. It was
a long journey that took me nearly 10 years. That’s why I’ve dedicated my life to helping women do what I did. I want to package up 10 years that I struggled and tried and re-tried and hand it over to my clients, so they can skip all the stuff that doesn’t work. There’s no reason for you to reinvent the w
heel. It doesn’t have to take 10 years. It’s not a quick fix or a magic pill, but it’s true and lasting change. If you or
anyone you know needs the guidance to find out what works for your unique body, the right accountability, and the right support; I’d love to sit down for a chat or even just a phone call. I can be reached by call or text at (870)375-0774 or you can message me from my Facebook page www.facebook.com/michelledabneyhealthcoach or email me at michelleDhealthcoach@gmail.com.